It’s a brand new year and we’re all ambitious and highly hopeful for the coming 12 months. Last year was a lot of things to a lot of different people. Great things happened and terrible things happened.
This year I start off by inviting you to look at your goals for the next 12 months, and thinking about the circumstances surrounding those goals, ask yourself these questions, in this order, until you arrive at an answer.
- How have I been responsible for my circumstances/conditions?
- How am I responsible for still being in the same condition/circumstance?
If you can’t find an answer to these, then ask yourself this question:
3. How could I be responsible for it?
We all have things we’re happy to take responsibility for:
- A job well done
- A good deed executed
But few of us are willing to take responsibility for:
- Broken relationships
- Poor results or no results
- Other people
One of the definitions of responsibility according dictionary.com is:
1. the state or fact of being responsible, answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power, control, or management.
So what does responsible mean? According to dictionary.com it means:
3. chargeable with being the author, cause, or occasion of something.
If you notice the pattern here, responsibility is about being cause and in control.
Now I know many of us are raised with a lot of false information and misunderstandings about “control”. In fact we’re taught “we really aren’t in control because God is really the one in control”. Although I could, I’m not even asking you to get philosophical about this. I’m just inviting you to take a practical look at yourself and ask yourself how you can be at cause (responsible) over your goals?
If one of your goals for the year is to find a new partner:
1. How have you been responsible for not having a partner?
- Have you kept yourself too busy with work?
- Have you been emotionally closed off?
- Have you been the jealous type?
- Have your standards been unrealistic for where you are in your life at the moment?
Remember the more we say “it’s not my fault”, the more we’re admitting “I’m not taking responsibility for this”. And the less responsibility we take for something, the more effect we become to it because those are the only two sides of the coin. You’re either cause or you’re effect.